Every morning, i wake up and looking at myself in the mirror just to come up with conclusion that i'm not Toby Logan who can read my own mind. I wish that i could read my own mind, at least once.
I had a problem, really serious problem –for me, at least. It was started since my late 13, when i had difficulties to express my feelings and said things that came up to my mind. For instance, when i was having lot of things to discuss with my friend, or needed to talk about something to my parents, nothing came out from my mouth, only a whisper of silence.
That drove me crazy and finally i end up with myself crying in my bed, blaming myself for being so stupid, and sometimes feeling sorry for people because i was so stupid that i always keep silence while hoping that somebody will understand what I've been thinking. At least, what i need is that someone approach me and asking what happened, it’s that simple. Unfortunately, nobody happened to do that. “Why don’t they understand??”, that was the question i always been address to myself. So Selfish, right?
The good thing is, it was slowly changed after several years of joining school organization and various activities, that teach me a lot of how to communicate with others and expressing my opinions through discussions and presentations. That helped a lot, but still the main problem remains, not all ideas can come up to the real world.
Solving problems and analyzing things, that’s different story. When i was concerning on something, to cope with my analysis, I also have a lot of visual flying around my head, and somehow feeling the sensation of particular occurrence. It can be an event happened today, or something that i didn't remember that it was really happened.
Other than visuals, i also heard voices. Can be from my own voices, or another person’s voices. I may have little conversation with my self, i called it ‘virtual me’. That gives advises, opinions, or sometimes yelled me out for some reasons. Frankly speaking, i’m used to talk to myself, like i talk to another person. I really ‘heard’ that conversation, just like how people talks. I can notice the tones, loudness, expression, etc. Just like normal conversation, but the difference is that it takes place in my own head.
Well, that’s only a part of the story. For the time being, I've been able to manage that situation, by trying to speaking it loud and recording it. –Of course when there’s nobody around. Sometimes, i write it down on my cellphone or my computer. Not really worked it out, but at least it can save most of the information.
The problem is, every time i want to say or write down what i was thinking, it start to disappear by the time I transferred the words outside of my brain. Like writing down a running text news, you’ll missed some words that you didn't notice while you’re writing, Well, it’s not always have to be words, it can also be in a form of images, visuals, even voices, running text, or sense of feeling that i unable to describe. Voices and text would be easy, but images and feeling? Uh-oh.. diffiicult.
I always been thinking about the possibility that i can record those conversation, so that i can recall to it anytime, and if it’s necessary, other people can follow it too. Isn't it beneficial, that i can share my thoughts before it’s gone and reside as a atomic memory?
I wonder if somehow, there would be a device that can ‘fetch’ messages inside my brain, and pull it out to the external world. Like the one i saw on movie, by putting helmet-look-like thing, then connect it to a computer, and start reading the brain memory. Plug n Read, suppose.
I wonder it might be wonderful that i can type directly from my brain, by thinking out inside, without having to grab a pencil or type it on my notebook. Just straight from my head. Or, i can generate a nice short movie from my own imagination, without having to use expensive and high-end animation software. Not to mention the long time needed for rendering and movie format compression.
That would be great i think, since we can build up a story or books faster than writing it up manually. Rather than keep losing the ideas while writing or saying it, i’d rather think of it and let the device type it for me. Let your ideas flows, and never afraid of losing it. You decide what to do next, later on. Wonderful, right?
February 24, 2014 20:55
–Would it be happen in 2055? Hope So :D
*Maaf jika tulisan kali ini ditulis dalam bahasa inggris. entah kenapa terkadang saya lebih nyaman menyampaikan hal yang berkaitan dengan perasaan dengan menuliskannya dalam bahasa inggris. Mungkin karena terbiasa nonton film luar kali ya, hehe. Boleh kan? sekalian belajar bahasa inggris juga :D